With only one day of the trip left after my last entry, you'd think I'd be running a little low on material. Thank heavens for Continental Airlines, who consistently find a way to imbue my blog with the sort of vomit-inducing, roller coaster excitement one would usually assume is best avoided on intercontinental plane journeys.
But before that, the last day. The last day happened, of that I am certain, but not a lot happened in it. There was the breakfast bitch (don't ask), a long journey on yet another crowded bus (though mercifully not of the chicken breed) and the last night of alcohol-related destruction and love quadrangles. Those involved in either or both know to whom I am referring. I'm too polite to gossip. (Those aware of how much of a lie that was can stop their guffawing right now.)
And so the following day the group made like a moldy, decaying bath sponge, and gradually separated. I left at midday for the airport, supposedly to arrive home for 2.05pm the next day. Continental Airlines however, in a bout of prescient generosity, thought that a final blog entry of a mere three paragraphs would be unfortunate in the extreme, and kindly decided to make my final journey interesting.
The problems started when I was informed that my flight from San Jose to Houston was delayed three hours. As I had less than three hours between the original landing time and my flight from Houston to London, I was obviously going to miss my last flight home. At the point this became clear during check-in I was handed a boarding pass for a new flight to London the following day, and was told to expect someone from Continental to find me once the plane landed at Houston to arrange for me to placed in a hotel for the night. That was annoying, but at least it was simple. I would have been home a day later, but I knew where I stood.
There I was waiting at San Jose airport, gate 16, when I was called over to the desk. The same woman who checked me in was standing there, and told me that the flight was still late, but not quite as late as they originally thought. Supposedly I would have one hour to catch my next flight and this, she assured me, was doable, adding 'all flights from Houston are delayed'. In light of this, she had arranged for my luggage to be transferred and printed me a new boarding pass for my original flight, which included a green sticker with a 'T' on it, the lack of which so almost screwed me over the first time.
Having been through Houston once and finding it surprisingly quick I was cautiously optimistic, but then I had also heard horror stories about the same airport and insistences on my good fortune in avoiding such dramas. An hour, I thought, was doable. However as the plane left San Jose the time of arrival had been revised again, leaving me with just twenty five minutes! I sat nervously, waiting until one hour before our supposed landing time before I started asking the cabin crew what on Earth I should do, and whether I could be sped through the airport.
I was told that 'usually' they'll arrange for such persons in my position to be taken aside and escorted to the next plane, because 'they know' who's in such a predicament. Do you think I received such a service? Of course not. However I was moved as far forward on the plane as I could be without actually stepping into first class territory, and when it landed I had in fact forty five minutes before the plane was due to depart. I tried to avoid thinking about how long before this time the gate would be shut.
I can safely say one thing: nobody in the history of the world has been through an airport quicker than I bolted through Houston. I managed it in thirty minutes, running like a madman, occasionally in the wrong direction. I want to ask the following question: having been through the USA six weeks earlier, was it really necessary to take my picture and fingerprints again? I mean I understand I might have a new haircut, but new fingers? Come on! The USA is security mad. Possibly just mad.
With the gate about to shut I made it to my seat, sweaty and feeling like I was about to throw up. It must have been a very unpleasant experience for the poor guy sitting next to me. I'm sorry, but at least I made it. Half an hour, not bad at all! If only my luggage could have moved as quickly. That's right, my bag got left at Houston, as if to punish me for scuppering its plans to get lost the first time. At least they know where it is though.
And so my children, that is the end. Or is it? I intend to keep this blog going, though what shall make up its contents remains to be seen. As my good friend Ben recently observed, 'You can keep on blogging you know, it just won't be as interesting'. The man has at least half a point. I shall indeed continue to blog, and damn hell it shall be interesting!
For now I am going to continue to sit at home on the promise from Continental that my luggage will arrive here today, though that remains to be seen. That's probably for the best; it's good to end on a cliffhanger...
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